Dear Diary

I'm not a perfect person, but I'm better than I've been
Maybe I'm still trying not to be another sin
But I won't hide the issues, put my feelings on display
Because the only way I'll grow is if I feel them out someday

It's hard for me to say the things that make me feel ashamed
I'll write another poem, hide my feelings on the page
And maybe after that someday I won't need therapy
So here's to me and here's to you
I'm hoping someday I won't hide away the truth

I used to be someone I'm not and hope I disappear
I gave up hoping anyone would ever want me here
It's so much easier to just sink back inside my clothes
Maybe if I wear them dark enough, my silhouette won't show

I'm told that I'm annoying, that I never shut my mouth
So I made my own muzzle and affixed it to my snout
But every now and then I'd break it off and speak my mind
I'd better make a new one, so nobody hears me cry

Got used to shaping myself so I'd finally fit in
And every time I'd do it, I could fake a stupid grin
I got so good I'd profile every person I had met
Speak the words and take the actions that would make them be my friend

Soon enough I'd get so good I'd forget who I am
And everyone who knew me knew a different kind of mask

Eventually it catches up, the pieces fall apart
You stand there and you wonder who you are and where to start
The fear sets in and then you start to ponder if it's true
Should you be afraid that no one really likes the real you

It's hard for me to say the things that make me feel ashamed
I'll write another poem, hide my feelings on the page
And maybe after that someday, you'll read between the lines
So here's to me, the real me
Trying to trust that you'll love who I want to be