Where I Stand

I used to think that I was special, like a rose in a bouquet
Now I'm learning that my prickly thorns might ruin everything
I thought I was complacent, thought I knew just who I am
Now I'm deviating, turns and twisting, awol from my plan
I should've known
We're characters all reaping what we sew

What if I'm not enough?
What if I'm just a bluff?
What if I'm not anything for anyone besides when things are tough?
What if I'm just a trick?
What if I'm just for kicks?
I can't say I'm not proud of who I am, just contemplating where I stand

Every morning brings a mourning, from the things that still decay
But foundation is a castle built on sand that starts to shake
I wanted to be Winter, but the Sunrise fits my name
I wanted to be everything I tried to shun away
I should've known
As far as seasons go, I'm waiting out the snow

What if I'm not enough?
What if I'm just a bluff?
What if I'm not anything for anyone besides when things are tough?
What if I'm just a trick?
What if I'm just for kicks?
I can't say I'm not proud of who I am, just contemplating where I stand

New horizons, new beginnings
I won't be my own eclipse
I can ride the solar flares
Become my own Mistress
And as long as we're still playing
Pay attention, listen close
I'm still terrified of being
All the things I hate the most

What if I'm not enough?
What if I'm just a bluff?
What if I'm not anything for anyone besides when things are tough?
What if I'm just a trick?
What if I'm just for kicks?
I can't say I'm not proud of who I am, just contemplating where I stand

Take me back to where we started
I can't retrace the footsteps buried in the sand
Guess I know I've just departed
Made my leap, and now I'm seeing how it goes