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Writing Myself Into My Own Grave (“I’ll never be happy”)


You should keep your distance
You should never stay
You should learn your lesson
I’m never okay
I’ll always be wanting
More than I can say
Use your fucking head now
And please stay away
“I’ll never be happy”
That’s the simple phrase
Always pushing boundaries
Always such a pain
Writing lines is hopeless
Just pills to help delay
You should learn your lesson
I’m never okay

Mhm mhm.
(It’s time for a break)

I’m never satisfied, don’t you think that you’d agree?
Just a sad, pathetic, hopeless mess with endless strife and grief
You can say that I’m perfection, you can tell me that you care
You can say I deserve better, now just let me go from there
I’m nobody’s posession, no one’s aiming for my pride
And deserving better never helped me, I think that’s a lie
Now it’s not about attention, and it’s not about my worth
It’s not about a partnership I’ll never find on Earth
It’s the simple fact I’m broken and I’m tearing at the seams
Try to keep myself together helping other people, see?

I worry about people
I worry how I’m seen
I worry what they think of me when I’m not on their screen
I worry if they think of me at all, just the same
I wonder if they worry ‘bout me too, when they’re in-game
I always seem to focus on if everyone’s alright
I always seem to go to bed and wonder through the night

“Are they okay?”
“Did they see me?”
“Am I helping?”
I’m repeating

I go to bed
I close my eyes
Another day
Another night

Published: 2021-03-02

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